When Motherhood Feels Heavy: Understanding Burnout in Matrescence
Guest blog by Lauren Legere, Founder and Clinical Director of Latitude Counselling
Motherhood changes everything, no question. Our routines, our priorities, and often, our sense of who we are changes. It’s one of life’s most profound transformations, and yet, so much of that change happens quietly, beneath the surface. While motherhood is often described as joyful and fulfilling, many moms also describe it as overwhelming, isolating, and exhausting in ways they never expected.
Between the endless to-do lists, emotional labour, and pressure to do it all, it’s no wonder that so many mothers find themselves running on empty. Burnout in matrescence, also known as depleted mother syndrome, refers to the state of psychological, emotional, and physical strain that can emerge during and after the significant life transition into motherhood. In a season when you want to feel calm and grounded, your identity, expectations, and energy collide in a destabilizing way.
Burnout and anxiety in matrescence don’t show up overnight. They build slowly, often mistaken for “being tired” or “normal stress.” But when left unchecked, they can quietly erode a mother’s sense of self and well-being. Recognizing the signs early and knowing how to respond with compassion can make all the difference.
Recognizing Burnout and Anxiety in Motherhood
Burnout and anxiety tend to show up in four interconnected areas. Understanding them helps you recognize that what you’re feeling isn’t weakness, it’s a sign that you’ve been carrying too much and need support.
1. Emotional
Signs: Heightened sadness, irritability, frustration, or restlessness.
May look like: Snapping at loved ones, crying unexpectedly, or feeling emotionally “at capacity.”
2. Physical
Signs: Headaches, body tension, stomach issues, appetite or sleep changes.
May look like: Never feeling rested, even after sleeping, or constant physical fatigue.
3. Cognitive
Signs: Racing thoughts, forgetfulness, intrusive worries, or difficulty focusing.
May look like: Overanalyzing simple choices or feeling paralyzed by decision-making.
4. Withdrawal
Signs: Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy or avoiding social connections.
May look like: Feeling disconnected, isolated, or simply “going through the motions.”
These aren’t character flaws, they’re signals. They’re your mind and body’s way of asking for care and attention.
Ways to Support Your Mental Health When Burnout Arises
Self-care doesn’t need to be fancy, expensive, or time-consuming. In fact, the most effective care often comes from the smallest, most consistent actions, the ones that remind your body you are safe and deserving of rest.
I know it’s hard to prioritize yourself in the early days of motherhood but I recommend incorporating a few of these gentle strategies into your week:
Take micro-breaks: Step outside for fresh air or take two minutes to breathe deeply.
Fuel your body: Eat regularly and move in ways that feel good - even if it’s dancing with your kids or walking around the block.
Prioritize rest: Create opportunities to nap or go to bed earlier. If you have a partner, trade off nighttime duties.
Maintain basic hygiene: Showering, brushing your teeth, or washing your face might seem small, but they’re powerful acts of self-respect.
Set realistic expectations: Let go of perfectionism. Done is better than perfect - always.
Establish boundaries: Say no to what drains you and yes to what restores you.
Practice mindfulness: Try journaling, breathing exercises, or short meditations.
Ask for help early: Delegating isn’t failure, it takes a village.
Stay connected: Isolation fuels burnout. Reach out to a friend who feels safe.
Seek professional support: Counselling provides a space to explore your emotions and learn strategies for sustainable well-being.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it's essential. It’s how you sustain the energy to care for others.
How Families, Communities, and Workplaces Can Help
Preventing burnout in motherhood is not a solo effort, it really does take that village of support. Loved ones, friends and workplaces can make a meaningful difference when noticing signs of exhaustion or burnout in new moms.
Ask and truly listen: Check in with moms without judgment or immediate solutions.
Take initiative: Handle a task start-to-finish: grocery shopping, meal prep, or laundry etc so she doesn’t have to manage the mental load.
Offer tangible help: A hot meal, childcare, or a clean kitchen can be life-changing.
Build connection: Community programs and mom groups reduce isolation and normalize shared experiences.
Support flexibility at work: Family-friendly policies and hybrid options show that well-being matters as much as productivity.
Normalize seeking help: When we talk openly about therapy and stress, we remove stigma and make support more accessible.
Supporting Moms Supports Everyone
Lauren Legere
When mothers are supported, everyone benefits. Families become more connected. Children thrive emotionally. Communities grow stronger.
Research consistently shows that when maternal mental health is prioritized through early intervention and ongoing care, there are lasting positive effects, from improved emotional stability to stronger relationships and healthier child development.
Motherhood isn’t meant to be survived; it’s meant to be experienced with presence and fulfillment. If you’re feeling depleted, please know you’re not failing and you’re not alone, you’re human going through a challenging human experience. Burnout is not a reflection of your ability to mother; it’s a sign that you’ve been giving too much without receiving enough.
You deserve rest. You deserve care. And you deserve to be supported, not just as a mother, but as a whole person.
Lauren Legere is the Founder and Clinical Director of Latitude Counselling. A Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) and Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC) with a Master’s degree in Counselling Psychology, Lauren has spent more than 17 years studying psychology and the human experience. She is also a mother, mental health advocate, and educator based in Vancouver, BC.
Connect with Lauren on Instagram: @latitudecounselling
Learn more about counseling options and wellness at www.latitudecounselling.com